Off the Sphincter Scale

I took a walk through the rubble strewn streets of my neighbourhood. I encountered people huddled in doorways and on street kerbs with their blankets. Some people had outstretched hands looking for a few pesos to help alleviate their sad situation. It was starting to get dark but children's voices could still be heard. Dogs barked wildly only to be outshouted by the screams of ambulance and fire engine sirens. Breezes caught debris and rubbish and it blew what it could about the streets. It's a desperate time and Santiago is a desperate city.

Yes, my neighbourhood is a shithole. That was Friday. Then to make matters worse, we have an earthquake!

The vast majority of Santiago is a complete eyesore. And, again. I'm talking pre-Earthquake 8.8. Post-quake, it's a little difficult to discern what is actual damage and what is just the natural state of this ugly city.

Nice body, shame about the face.

The most common question I get asked by my students (after we've covered the obligatory 'How much years have you?' and 'How long time you are in Chile?') is 'Do you like Chile?' During my first semester, my answers consisted of 'So far, yes, I like it'......cue five minute explanation of so far.

By the time the second semester had started and new classes had been added to my schedule, I found myself in a bit of a dilemma. I knew, that on meeting my new students, I would be asked that question again. This posed a problem. I had been living here for four to five months and already hated Santiago and the vast majority of its moronic inhabitants I had encountered on a day to day basis. What was I to do? I don't like lying when it means denying an opinion, nor did I want to offend my students. Then, in an inspired moment, I realised that they were asking about Chile. No problem, then. I'd been outside of Santiago. I'd visited Viña, Valparaiso, La Serena, Elqui Valley. I had an out. 'Chile? Oh yeah, it's a beautiful country. You guys are so lucky'.......cue five minute explanation that guy does not mean homosexual.

Here's to the first of many.

I've toyed with the idea over and over again about having a blog. For an opinionated individual, such as myself, it always seemed to be the natural progression. I've never been shy about putting forward an opinion and screaming that the Emperor is stark-bollock naked. An admirable trait I've always thought. After all, there is no worse scourge in our society than hypocrisy. Is there?
However, I have learnt along the way that there's a time and a place for such correct opinions.

One such opinion is that blogs are maintained by attention-seeking, egotistical individuals. So before I took my first steps into the blogosphere I had to make sure that I fitted into that category. Not fitting into that category would have inhibited this gift I am bestowing on the world simply because to join this club without the requisite traits would've rendered my original opinion wrong. And that would upset the natural order.

I imagine a large portion of my postings (read: rants) will be of my time here in Santiago and my encounters with the natives and their 'different' ways.
I arrived in Santiago about 18 months ago. The first thing you see when you exit the airport, after you navigate your way through the salivating taxi drivers is the breathtaking view of the Andes. It's then you know you've made the right decision to travel to the other side of the world on a one-way ticket to a country where you have only a rudimentary knowledge of the language.

I also think there'll be a mention or two of football (it's never called 'soccer') with a good measure of my pet hates. Do I care if people read my blog? Well, of course I do! After all, I'm an attention-seeking, egotistical individual.

Here's to a long and prosperous future of spleen venting.

Cheers.