The Hand of Frog

June 1986, Mexico City. It's quarter finals time in the greatest competition in the world......The World Cup. Two teams meet in the blistering heat to challenge for a coveted semi-final place. Four years earlier the countries were at war. It was Argentina v England. The eyes of the world were on them and the fans.

In 1979 Argentina were seriously considering invading Chile. For some reason they decided to change their plans and try to invade a little group of islands off the Argentinian coast called The Falklands (Las Malvinas). The Chileans breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately for the Argentinians, these sheep populated islands were (and still are) British territory. Long story short: after a little more than two months the Argies had their arses severely spanked and went home with their tails between their legs. Chile played it's part by providing intelligence to the British and offering support if things got out of hand. A beautiful friendship bloomed between Pinochet and Thatcher.

Back to Mexico. Recent events hyped up this game to epic proportions. Tabloid newspapers in both countries naturally equated the game to the war. In 1982 the British had the biggest and best trained military force in the world. In 1986 the Argentinians had Maradona.

It's only a game.

Events over the coming week or so will decide the last of the teams going to the World Cup. Some fans have nothing to worry about as their nations already know their fate. Teams already there include: Australia, Korea (North & South), England, Spain, the USA, Mexico, Brazil, Ghana and of course, Chile. In total, 32 nations will compete during the month of June next year in South Africa.

My tip is current European Champions, Spain. They are constantly feted as the best team never to have won the tournament. They have two of the best young players in the world, Fabregas and Torres. Both play in the English Premier League for Arsenal and Liverpool respectively.

My team has yet to qualify. They have a chance but I won't tempt fate by making a prediction just yet.

Football is, without doubt, the greatest game in the world. There are other ball sports that hijack the name but there is only one. In the US, the word describes a sport played by steroid-pumped homosexuals in motorcycle helmets wearing mascara. (Is all that ass touching really necessary?). The Australian version is the antithesis of its American cousin. It is a sport played by raving lunatics. The origins of which are steeped in Australia's penal colony history. It is the bastard child of rugby and football. In both instances, neither sport is played at a professional level outside it their respective countries.